Rest

I love Your name, it is wonderful
I love Your name, the Angels love it too
I love Your name, it is powerful
I love Your name, the Angels love it too
Hallelujah, name above all names
Hallelujah, You're worthy of all praise
Jesus, name above all names 

Jesus, You're worthy of all praise

I love Him. I know what I must do now. The presence was so strong when I was I praying and crying out to Him last night. At the end of the prayer, He whispered to me, "Now son, rest... Rest in me, I love you." Thank you God for everything. 

Decision

"The road the righteous travel is like the sunrise, getting brighter and brighter until daylight has come. The road of the wicked, however, is dark as night. They fall, but cannot see what they have stumbled over.

My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen to my words.  Never let them get away from you. Remember them and keep them in your heart. They will give life and health to anyone who understands them. Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts. Never say anything that isn't true. Have nothing to do with lies and misleading words. Look straight ahead with honest confidence; don't hang your head in shame. Plan carefully what you do, and whatever you do will turn out right. Avoid evil and walk straight ahead. Don't go one step off the right way."

- Proverbs 4:18-27

I decided to start my morning differently today, which is to download Pastor Steven Furtick last Sunday sermon, “The Great Emoti Con, Moodswingers”, and listened to it on the way to work. Of course, his sermons always speak into my life and allow me to get back on my feet every time I feel like crap. 

Something about me is that my thoughts are my worst enemy because 80% of my thoughts are negative (I guess it is normal for human beings to be negative). Well, I kind of proud of myself because at least I know which of my thought is negative or positive. However, I am not proud that I am allowing the negative thoughts to affect my emotions every night as the verse said, “Your life is shaped by your thoughts”.

Today, after a few weeks of emotional nights, I made a decision which is to listen to His words everyday and remember them and keep them in my heart. I will not give up and I look forward for the rest of 2015. 

Decisive, Strength and Consistency

Flash & Arrow

Oliver Queen: There's one more thing and you're not going to like it. 
Barry Allen: Does it involve you shooting me in the back? 
Oliver Queen: No. No, the heart. 
[looks over at Iris] 
Oliver Queen: That's not going to work out for you. And you need to let her go, for both of your sakes. Guys like us don't get the girl. 

Rocks

Rocks are like priorities. 

Only so many rocks can fit in a jar. 

Only so many activities can fit in a week. 

The issue isn't prioritizing my schedule, but scheduling my priorities. 

I shall put big rocks in first. 

God, you are my rock. I put you first... always.

Pray

How many nights do you lie dreaming
I'm counting the days since you went away
When I lost my heart, life lost all meaning
What I would give to see you again

I'll pray for you
Do you pray for me?
I'll pray for you

And you slipped away from me without talking
The look in your eye was stronger than this
And I drink alone to stop me from weeping
What's left of my heart is forever yours
Forever yours

I'll pray for you
Do you pray for me?
I'll pray for you

I know I know I know I know

Hunger

Finally, my first week of internship will be over after Sunday 4 hours shift. Honestly, this week had been a challenging week. Firstly, my job requires me to work on both on my weekends. Therefore, I can no longer fellowship with my fellow church friends after service, and which kind of upset me for the first day. However, thank God for friends and leaders, they had input positive thinking into my mind and I am okay now and I’m not affected by it anymore because I know through this situation I will know how to balance my time and really know how to manage my time.

The second thing that I felt challenging was… these few days, in fact close to 1-2 weeks; somehow I couldn’t feel God presence. It is not because I did not think about God or pray, but somehow when I worship, pray or listen to worship songs, I just couldn’t feel Him like I used to. In previous days, when I called out for Him, He will appear in my heart and just filled me with wisdom, love and strength. However, it did not have for the past few weeks. It made me so hungry for Him that I kept listening to worship songs and just kept crying out to Him whenever I was alone. However, I still did not feel His presence but I know my God is not a forsaken God and He has something to teach me through this situation.

Until just now during men’s meeting worship, I felt His presence like I never felt before for months. At that moment, I realised that I had taken advantage of Him. I know that He is always here for me and I did not have the hunger I had for Him before for these few weeks, because of my hunger for Him this week, I had a spirit encounter with Him during the men’s meeting. I was reminded that I did not find God when I was lost but God found me when I was lost. My life belongs to Him and I need to be consistent in being hungry for Him.

Well, as I am in my work (intern) season, I know God has His reasons in placing me where I am interning for the next 3 months. My hunger for Him will definitely grow for now onwards and it is time for me to go back to the basics; read His word, prayer and discipleship.

“Come and consume, God
All we are
We give you permission
Our hearts are Yours
We want You
We want You”

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8

God likes me too

Most of us were taught that God would love us if and when we change. In fact, God loves you so that you can change. What empowers change, what makes you desirous of change, is the experience of love. It is that inherent experience of love that becomes the engine of change. - Richard Rohr