Rocks

Rocks are like priorities. 

Only so many rocks can fit in a jar. 

Only so many activities can fit in a week. 

The issue isn't prioritizing my schedule, but scheduling my priorities. 

I shall put big rocks in first. 

God, you are my rock. I put you first... always.

Pray

How many nights do you lie dreaming
I'm counting the days since you went away
When I lost my heart, life lost all meaning
What I would give to see you again

I'll pray for you
Do you pray for me?
I'll pray for you

And you slipped away from me without talking
The look in your eye was stronger than this
And I drink alone to stop me from weeping
What's left of my heart is forever yours
Forever yours

I'll pray for you
Do you pray for me?
I'll pray for you

I know I know I know I know

Hunger

Finally, my first week of internship will be over after Sunday 4 hours shift. Honestly, this week had been a challenging week. Firstly, my job requires me to work on both on my weekends. Therefore, I can no longer fellowship with my fellow church friends after service, and which kind of upset me for the first day. However, thank God for friends and leaders, they had input positive thinking into my mind and I am okay now and I’m not affected by it anymore because I know through this situation I will know how to balance my time and really know how to manage my time.

The second thing that I felt challenging was… these few days, in fact close to 1-2 weeks; somehow I couldn’t feel God presence. It is not because I did not think about God or pray, but somehow when I worship, pray or listen to worship songs, I just couldn’t feel Him like I used to. In previous days, when I called out for Him, He will appear in my heart and just filled me with wisdom, love and strength. However, it did not have for the past few weeks. It made me so hungry for Him that I kept listening to worship songs and just kept crying out to Him whenever I was alone. However, I still did not feel His presence but I know my God is not a forsaken God and He has something to teach me through this situation.

Until just now during men’s meeting worship, I felt His presence like I never felt before for months. At that moment, I realised that I had taken advantage of Him. I know that He is always here for me and I did not have the hunger I had for Him before for these few weeks, because of my hunger for Him this week, I had a spirit encounter with Him during the men’s meeting. I was reminded that I did not find God when I was lost but God found me when I was lost. My life belongs to Him and I need to be consistent in being hungry for Him.

Well, as I am in my work (intern) season, I know God has His reasons in placing me where I am interning for the next 3 months. My hunger for Him will definitely grow for now onwards and it is time for me to go back to the basics; read His word, prayer and discipleship.

“Come and consume, God
All we are
We give you permission
Our hearts are Yours
We want You
We want You”

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8

God likes me too

Most of us were taught that God would love us if and when we change. In fact, God loves you so that you can change. What empowers change, what makes you desirous of change, is the experience of love. It is that inherent experience of love that becomes the engine of change. - Richard Rohr

Dry Bones

You can take my dry bones
Breathe life into this skin
You called me by name
Raised me to life again

You can calm the oceans
Speak peace into my soul
Take me as I am
Awaken my heart to beat again

Oh Jesus, oh Jesus, oh Jesus
Alive in me

You move in the unseen
You set the captives free
As I stand and sing
You're breaking the chains off me

Oh Jesus, oh Jesus, oh Jesus
Alive in me, alive in me
Alive in me, alive in me
Alive in me, alive in me, alive in me

Breathe in me Your life
I can feel You are close now
I can never hide
You are here and You know me
All I need is You and I love You
I love You, I love You, I love You

By Hillsong United, Bones

Yes, I did many wrong things in my life and there are so many times I just feel so dried up. Therefore, I am constantly changing to be the better man for people in my life. Strength, consistency and decisiveness, these are the three things I am focusing on. Another thing is I really pray that He will continue to bless me with the ability of discernment. I really want to have all this wisdom from Him. I want to have the ability to think biblically about all areas of life. I guess I really want my remaining life to have a standard that if there will be a new bible, it will take 20 chapters to talk about my life. That is how much I really want Him to be in my life.

Well, guide me & I trust You

Some Quote

"Isn't it funny how the memories you cherish before a breakup can become your worst enemies afterwards? The thoughts you loved to think about, the memories you wanted to hold up to the light and view from every angle--it suddenly seems a lot safer to lock them in a box, far from the light of day and throw away the key. It's not an act of bitterness. It's an act if self-preservation. It's not always a bad idea to stay behind the window and look out at life instead, is it?"

Holy Spirit

Hey readers,

                Had a quiet time with God, and it was fruitful.

Acts 1-4:

Basically, throughout these four chapters, I’m just amazed but how the disciples acted as what Jesus told them to do with the power of the Holy Spirit. This means to spread the gospel of God.  

Based on the first few chapters, I learnt that the Holy Spirit is here for me, it is like Jesus and the Holy Spirit works through us. When I read further down in the chapters, I am just amazed how bold Peter is in serving God. He is not afraid in spreading the gospel. He stood up among all of the people and told them that they are not drunk but they are filled with the Holy Spirit as they are speaking tongues. And he went on to even heal the lame beggar and when he performed the miracle, he was arrested. This time, he was not afraid as he was when Jesus was captured and he denied Jesus three times, but he spoke against the priest with power of the Holy Spirit. He was bold… Strong for God

Through these four chapters, I told myself that it is time for me to connect with the Holy Spirit. Yes, I will experience a bumpy journey before I reach my destination. At this point in time of my life, I am really hungry for Him and I really want to be the man of God in my zone or even in my church. I know that there will be demons that going to plan and pull me down but I refused to allow them to enter into my thoughts. I must have faith. This is because faithfulness will be the greatest preparation for me towards God’s will. Thus, I know God will continue to whisper to me in my life. I heard from a sermon saying that the reason why God whisper to us is that God is always in our heart all the time and demons are so far away and that’s why they have to shout to get our attention. Another thing is I should not dwell myself too much about the future or stuck in the past. It is good to have a future goal and all but the will of God is all about right now. For example, obey God right now! I had grown up and it’s time for me to feed myself with His words.

And I pray that the Holy Spirit will guide me. Amen.