A Letter To My Cell Group

Hey! This post really goes out to my beloved cell group because I know I won't have the opportunity to share this with y'all. However, if it is possible, you can share with one another and hopefully this will impact you.

Before I enlist, I just want to encourage all of you to really look forward to the upcoming three to five months. There will be a lot of changes, but I know that God has a great plan for every single one of you. There are 3 things I would like to share with you about how we can grow together even though there are many changes.

    1) Stand Together

Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel (Philippians 1:27)

All of us come from different background and are brought up differently. which may cause differences within the cell group. As you can see from the verse, it said that WHATEVER HAPPENS, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ! This means WHATEVER differences you have with one another, just know that the Cell Group should be the gospel of Christ. I feel there's a relation between Paul (prison) and I (army). Whether or not I am able to go to CGM or church, I will hear that you are standing firm with one common purpose and that with only one desire you are fighting together for the faith of the gospel.

    2) Comfort Each Other

Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

In order to stand together, you need to comfort each other and edify one another. I know some of you already doing that, which is good! Keep it up! However, for those that does not have the habit; comfort each other not with sympathy but with empathy. Let every member that is going through a hard time know that N520/W537 are here for them and understand what they are feeling because you have experienced it yourself or can put yourself in their shoes. In addition, speak with edifying words. In Ephesians 4:29, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

    3) Love Each Other

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.  And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

In order to stand together and comfort one another, we need to love people! Loving is a difficult thing. To be honest, I’m still learning how to love people! All of us are human and we make mistakes. However, this cell group is God’s family. Loving people does not come naturally, however, I believe that if we choose to make that decision to love one another, God will do the rest and move in a supernatural way. Love comes with a sacrifice which means we do not expect anything in return. Therefore, choose love.

To sum up everything, we need to choose love so that we can comfort each other with empathy and this will allow us to stand together for HIM. I love you N520/W537, you guys are my family and I will miss all of you. Text me if you need anything! I will be still here for this cell group just that I will reply slow! Let’s continue to be laborers for Him because REVIVAL is coming. Will keep on praying for you guys.

I need Him

I know, I know my heart

I’ve felt its war within

It lusts and works for power

It’s evil knows no end

My life is nothing without You

I need grace, I need mercy, I need forgiveness for You to make me holy

I must surrender, I need Jesus

I know, I know Your love

It woos and draws me in

It points me to the cross

Where death and life begin

My life is nothing without You

I need grace, I need mercy, I need forgiveness for You to make me holy

I must surrender, I need Jesus

https://youtu.be/YfuHyDO2RGY

New Goal

Recently, I hit me that I am 21. And to be honest, I don’t know what my future will become after army, but I know what my goals are. Coincidentally, I listened to a Steven Furtick’s sermon, Reaching the Goal, when I was having my dinner. He said sometimes in life we set goals in the result we want is that we do not need God. And that is a wrong goal because God always places us in a place where we will need him if not, we will fail.

“⁷ But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ ⁹ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. ¹⁰ I want to know Christ-yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹ and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.” (Philippians 3:7-11)

And as I am entering the army, I know I need Him because it's tough. And my goal in life, is not to have a big house, lots of money, nice clothes or whatever! BUT, my new goal is to know Christ.

At that point of time, I had a revelation; Paul got closer to God when he was in the prison and I'm not saying that the army is going to be a prison but definitely, I will feel alone. That is when I will seek God and have that hunger for Him. Therefore, I do not see this upcoming 2 years as a suffering, but a pathway for me to know God at a higher level. And because of what Paul went through, he inspired lots of people and I know if I set my eyes on Him, my cg will continue have faith in Him and do greater things for His kingdom.

Dear God, thank you for everything you have given to me. And as I'm entering into a new season, I just want to tell you that I'm going to need you. And I pray that you speak to me and give me strength as I enter into this season. I love you so much and continue to guide me. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

-

“For You are my lamp, O LORD; The LORD shall enlighten my darkness. (II Samuel 22:29)

Dreams

Recently I don’t know why I kept on dreaming about my ex. It’s not because I kept on thinking about her or had not moved on but since after Sportify, I started to dream about her. The first week, I kept on dreaming about all the quarrels we had, all the hurtful words she said to me and all the little things she did that made me feel upset (she's a great person, just that... Having a relationship is crazy). That whole week, I felt like I was in a dark place room, alone. I felt insecure about myself. I started to get affected by whatever she said.

For example... She said that

She wants a tall guy, but I’m short. (171cm)

She wants a guy that reads books and discusses books. (I don’t read books at all except for Steven Furtick’s books)

She wants a guy that is pretty serious kind. (Hey, look at me, I'm a freaking joker whenever I was with my friends)

The list goes on and on…

I began to think that I am nobody, I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. And the doubts and loneliness just kept on going and going…

Following week, I started to dream about all the good times we had, her smile, her laugher, the moment she initiated to hold my hands and all the hugs she gave me… the dreams were so real. And when I woke up and I realized that I'm actually alone, my mind started to fill with negative thoughts. This kept on going until the 3rd of July and I reached my breaking point. I went to church for Emerge and couldn’t feel anything at all. I decided to talk to Gerald and just broke down in front of him.  As I was crying out to him, I was somehow crying out to God to heal me and take away all the thoughts. However, the dreams kept on coming even this morning.

I just kept on asking God; explain to me why am I going through this. I felt him speaking to me, that it’s the devil trying to create negative thoughts in my mind and  I must not give in to the devil as the devil knows that if he doesn’t destroy me, I will do great things for God.

Well, this post is not about how bad was my ex. In fact, I thanked God for everything in the past. It’s just that everyone has inner struggles and my struggles are self-doubt, insecure, sensitive and many more (I think). However, through my negative thoughts and struggles, I will surrender to Him more and know that I am going to do great things for Him in future.