Wilderness

Finally, after so many years, I went back to my secondary school and visit my teachers. Actually, not really though, last Saturday the school was celebrating 15 year anniversary so they kind of invited back all the old students for a dinner. I managed to catch up with my secondary schoolmates and all those teachers that I gave so many troubles last time. The teachers started asking me whether I still remember certain situations. For example, they had to constantly punish me in class, reprimanded me so many times, called my parents and so on. To my surprise, I remember all of them and I feel so sorry for my teachers. Nonetheless, I will never forget about their love for me. 

Well, how am I? I guess I am still the same (better though). Recently, I asked God, “God, if you love me so much, take me out of this wilderness”. And guess what, God didn’t answer me. I know God wants me to find answers for myself and reflect why He placed me in this situation or why am I going through this season. A few hours ago, I was scrolling through my YouTube subscriptions and I saw this video, the person was talking about being in the wilderness and he spoke about Hosea 2:14.

“So I am going to take her into the desert again; there I will win her back with words of love.” - Hosea 2:14 

He continued to talk about that God put us into the wilderness so that He can speak to us and nurture us. We all know that wilderness is basically dark and dry… It’s a place where basically no one wants to go right? However, God said that He is going to take us into the wilderness. And he continued by saying about the stars at night; the darker the sky, the brighter the stars are. Anyway, take a look the video yourself; it’s more impactful watching it than reading my horrible English. LOL. (Link at the bottom)

At that point, my whole secondary school journey was reminded. I did so much of crazy stuffs… I will shout back at the teacher, flip tables and chairs… okay, you get what I mean right? I was more of acting tough and showing my friends that I am not weak. The relationship between God and me is the same thing! I will not listen to Him… I will just do whatever I want and not focusing on the things I must do. Of course, I have to face consequences due to my actions. In school, my teachers will punish me. Same thing! God punished me and took away certain things from my life. He hopes that by taking away things from me will make me realize that I am drifting away from Him and I will focus on Him again. But NO! I continue to ignore both my teachers and God. 

To a certain extent, there was this teacher which could not handle me anymore, so he dragged me to one place where there was no one, no distraction, quiet and it was him and me. He did not threaten me like how he did in the class. Instead, he spoke with a gentle voice, “Melvin, you are a good man. You have a bright future ahead. Don’t throw it away because it is not worth it. Listen to me, stop this entire rebellious act and focus on your study. Let me help you.” Thinking about it now, it kind of makes me realize why God put me into the wilderness because He wants to nurture me with love and have an intimidate conversation with Him. By knowing that, I will continue to work towards Him. 

Thank you God
For everything, really.