Future

Alright! It had been a few months since I really give my future a huge thought about it! During these few months, God really showed many different things He wants me to do for Him. So this is going to be like a draft for my future.

23 years old – SOT after ORD!

24 years old – Get a degree so I can go to the MOE and work as a PE teacher. Meanwhile, I really hope that I will rise up to be a cell group leader and start leading a bunch of youth!

25 - 27 years old – WORK & WORK & WORK!!! SERVE & SERVE & SERVE

26/27 years old – Hopefully to get married at this age

27-29 years old – Enjoy life with my wife (: meanwhile hope to be a leader for a group of members. Be a teacher until I reach my next goal in life

30-40 years old – Aim to be a pastor or a preacher and also to be a great father

41(target age)-death (?) – Move to overseas (Aussie or UK?? Gonna explore!) and stay!! Meanwhile, travel around the world preaching the gospel and visit Singapore once a while to see my family, friends and sheeps.

I do not think this is the end
This could be a new start 

Turned 20!

All of us have different sides…. I totally agree with it because I can be very different sometimes. This is because everyone has a side that they want to show people and a side of them that they want to hide it. It’s like Kelly Clarkson’s song, “everybody got a dark side…” Based on personality testing, I am totally a sanguine. This means that I am totally playful, talkative, optimistic, and carefree and often have many crazy moments… too crazy. However, there is a different side of me that I just want to be alone and negative thoughts will just keep filling inside my head. I will get so emotional sometimes. Of course, I know that everyone has their moment like this. I’m addressing this because I feel that we have to be strong and we have to stand firm on the ground.  It’s okay to feel weak and emotional but one thing I learn from some people is we cannot dwell in this sadness. I’m 20 year old, I got to be strong…

This brings us to 7 may 2014, I turned 20. I had a wonderful time with my girlfriend and friends. When my girlfriend surprised me with homemade cupcakes outside my house, I just smiled and I knew at that point, she’s definitely my dream girl. She got me a watch that can detect my heart rate and calories burned. I’m just very blessed to have such great girl. I just love birthday, not because of the presents but people sending me personal text and just wish me happy birthday. Overall, I’m blessed to have great people around.

Life is good and I will keep on going!

Vesuvius

Finally!!! Three more episodes to the ending of “How I Met Your Mother” and to be honest... I hope it will not just end at season 9. However!!! I really want to know how Ted met his wife. Basically, I followed this show since I was in secondary school and the show had taught me many things, for example, friendship and relationship. I am just glad that I am not ted as I didn’t wait that long to find the “one”. In addition, the show kind of making me feel excited to have my own children in future as I have a lot of stories to tell them (I hope edi doesn’t mind).

One of the speech that ted gave, till now, had make a great impact in me and each time I watched it, I just feel like crying and that speech is from season 8 episode 20.

"Hi— I’m Ted Mosby. In exactly 45 days from now you and I are going to meet and we’re going to fall in love and we’re going to get married and we’re going to have 2 kids and we’re going to love them and each other so much. All that is 45 days away, but I’m here now I guess because… I want those extra 45 days with you. I want each one of them. Look and if I can’t have them I’ll take the 45 seconds before your boyfriend shows up and punches me in the face, because… I love you. I’m always gonna love you, til the end of my days and beyond. You’ll see."

I just can’t wait for the finally episode and I am so ready to cry on that day. I really hope that the rumour of ted’s wife death isn’t real as it is so devastating to think about it. Well, I have faith in producers and all. Thank you HIMYM for the past 9 years as the show has made a huge impact in my life. 

Self-encouragement

"Today's attack just might be tomorrow's advantage."

I'm going to stay strong and win this battle.

Looking Forward to 2014

These few months had been tough… really tough…

Lord, I’m still standing here
No, I did not disappear

My faith is still strong
but I need your strength to carry on

My pillow is soaked with tears
and I hope you hear my prayer

Please… cast away my negative thoughts
as I follow you to the cross

Christ is Enough for Me

“Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know where you stand.”

For the past one month, I realized I was allowing all my troubles and thoughts to stack up one after another. It has been very long since I feel like giving up. Last night was one of the nights that I just crashed and broke down.

To be honest, I am usually pretty good at cheering myself up; I would watch South Park, Simpsons, and How I Met Your Mother etc. to lighten my mood. However, all those shows suddenly did not work for me since about a month ago. Little did I know, I began to feel very negative and trying to think of positive things stopped working.

Back to the topic, last night, after I crashed and broke down, I called my previous connect group leader. She talked to me and told me that I must see things in a different perspective. On top of that, I must not solve every problem all together. She said that I should solve them one at the time because I’m just a 19 year-old boy and I forgot that I could lean on God and seek God for help. It was one of those conversations where I received good advice and listened to her.

This morning, I went to church feeling very tired. During worship, we sang, “Christ is enough for me – Hillsong” and the bridge goes,  “I have decided to follow Jesus. 
No turning back. 
No turning back. 

The cross before me
The world behind me. 
No turning back.
No turning back”. The song reminded me that I have Jesus, my best friend, and I should lean on Him and continue to follow Him. I told myself I am going to set plans for 2014 as it is coming soon and I should prepare myself for upcoming challenges. This is because, I believe that every time I fall, I will know where I have initially stood, so that I can continue from where I was, tell myself to be stronger and go through these tough times.

Oooops

Do you ever have songs you hear that make you sit down and think? I saw this music video before on YouTube. It was "All I Want" by Kodaline and it got me thinking... Why do people always see the character surface of the person? Worse, getting judged based on appearances.

I admit, I also judge people by the surface and don't really care how great they actually are. That's why I always tell myself to show more grace. I will try my best and put myself in their shoes to try to understand their point of view. To be honest, I find it difficult because some people just love to take advantage of others and I really can't stand it. (These people are bullcrap... oops!) I guess this is how they somehow manage to find their way into my blacklist.

However, over time some people change and I started to see goodness in them. I believe I can learn many things from them.

I really hope I can cancel out as many people out from my blacklist as possible because I'm starting to realize that anger is filling up my mind and it's getting hard to forgive some people.

Definitely, I know there are some people who are just very selfish and do not care about their friends at all… and what I'm going to do from now on is to avoid them because I don’t want to keep thinking about how they make me angry. I’m praying that my mind will be free from negative thoughts and anger and so, I am going to start changing my mindset and believe in Him.

“Funny” people, please go away.